Though very few people think it will ever actually happen to them, roughly 50% of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. The divorce process is something that can incredibly complicated. When your children or other dependents are involved in the process, things can become even more difficult.

If you are in the process of getting divorced, you will almost certainly need to find a divorce lawyer. Though you are legally allowed to represent yourself, having a lawyer is the surest way you can get what you believe you deserve and avoid legal penalties.

Because divorce is so common, you will have many divorce lawyers to choose from. Even if you are in a rush to get your divorce finalized, it is still important to take the time to find someone who will be able to actually help you. Fortunately, finding a divorce mediation and custody lawyer who can meet your needs is something you can easily do.

How to begin looking for a divorce and custody lawyer

The number of available divorce lawyers in your area can sometimes be overwhelming. There are several things you can do to discover those who might be a good fit.

Asking your friends for referrals
Asking other lawyers for recommendations
Social media (LinkedIn is particularly useful)
Reading customer reviews
Looking elsewhere online
Responding to advertisements/other forms of marketing

Once you have a shortlist of a few attorneys that you are considering using, asking questions can help you determine which one you should actually use.

What is your approach to this case?
What is your experience with cases like these?
How much do you charge?
Why should I choose you to be my attorney?

Though choosing your attorney is just one part of the divorce and custody mediation process, once you find one, you will likely be relieved. It is important to try to find someone who will be able to clearly walk you through every step of the process along the way.

The benefits of divorce mediation

Most people who decide to mediate their divorce are typically glad they did. Mediation is usually much less hostile and less problematic than other settlement options might be. Additionally, mediation can provide you with numerous other benefits.

Mediating in private can spare your children the stress of being involved in a trial
Mediation is a more cooperative, mutually beneficial approach
Mediation can often save both parties a significant amount of money
Mediation usually produces more balanced and objectively fair outcomes

Many couples prefer to mediate their divorce because it creates a situation in which neither party is necessarily the “bad guy.” However, even if your marriage something you hope to end amicably, there are still many important things you will need to discuss with your spouse.

Understanding your specific situation

Every couple is different and, naturally, the divorce process for each couple will vary from couple to couple as well. When comparing different divorce mediation and custody lawyers, you will want to be looking for someone who has difference to your own.

Before you even begin the interviewing process, you will want to make a list of the “clear” facts relating to your case.

How many years were you married? Were there any prenuptial agreements involved?
How much property is at stake? Who is claiming what?
What do you believe you deserve?
Are there children involved? What is your proposed custody situation?
What mediation method are you most comfortable using?

Each of these variables can influence the case strategy your attorney will decide to use. The best divorce and custody attorneys are the ones who will be upfront about their approach, their expectations, and what they plan to do with your case.

Creating a timeline

The best divorce lawyers will also be able to help you organize a clear timeline regarding your marriage. By organizing all of the events that are relevant to your case in a clear, readable way, it will be much easier to argue about what you are entitled to.

There are numerous dates that could potentially be relevant.

The first time you met
The beginning of your relationship
Engagement
Marriage
The birth of your children
Buying property
Moments of significant conflict
Deciding to get divorced

Some couples who are getting divorced will try to do so using a single lawyer. This can often be sufficient. Other couples will want to hire separate lawyers, which can also be quite effective. Regardless of the approach that you think is best for you and your spouse, having a clear timeline will make the entire process much easier.

Preparing for mediation

The mediation process has multiple different components. Usually you will begin by meeting with the mediator and identifying each of the contested issues at hand. Then, both spouses will have an opportunity to negotiate and propose possible solutions. Once both parties find a solution they believe is fair, your attorney(s) will draft an agreement.

Though you and your spouse may be making the strongest effort you can to keep things civil, mediations can sometimes be rather emotional. Properly preparing for these meetings is important because it is easier to identify solutions when you are the most level-headed you can be.

In addition to developing a timeline, you and your attorney will want to prepare a proposal stating what you believe you deserve. For example, if you are hoping to have joint custody of your child, the preparation process might involve creating a hypothetical custody schedule.

Being aware of common issues

Though every divorce will be unique to the individuals involved, there are some issues that emerge more often than others. With a good divorce mediation and custody lawyer, you will be prepared to address each of these issues well before the formal mediation begins.

Deciding where your children will live (and where they will spend holidays)
Deciding what to do in the event either party remarries
Deciding what to do in the event either party moves
Child support, childcare, and health insurance
Education, life insurance, long-term financial planning, and wills
Other issues specific to your situation

The best attorneys will help you do multiple things in order to help you prepare for when these problems inevitably emerge. They will begin by asking you what you are hoping for. They will also be able to explain to you how past situations similar to yours have ended. They will then be able to help guide you and find more creative, agreeable solutions.

Once you are able to clearly understand what is involved in the divorce process, you will be better equipped to begin looking around for an attorney. Though the divorce process and custody mediations can both be incredibly difficult, having a proven attorney by your side can give you the peace of mind you need.

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Essential Things to Look for in a Divorce Mediation and Custody Lawyer